“You’ll change your mind when you meet the One.”, “You don’t want kids? That will change when you get married.”, “You don’t want to be alone do you?”, and many other varieties of these phrases have been hurled at me since I’ve decided to stay single. And NO, I’m not choosing to stay single until my “prince” comes because God has prepared us both for the great journey of marriage. I choose to stay single because I want to. If there is anyone out there like me I’m writing this to encourage the single to stay strong when well-meaning people offer their “advice”.
Family, friends, co-workers, etc. can’t help themselves because they don’t understand that singleness isn’t a curse. They see single as a temporary disease, a defect caused by bad examples and go so far as to suggest you join the singles group at church to meet people. Prayers go up imploring God to guide you since no man is an island. Here’s a newsflash: Being single is a gift (1 cor.7:7)! God’s path for us who are single is to remain this way and for others God wants them to be married: different is good.
Not getting married doesn’t mean missing out nor does it mean we who follow Christ can share our what God gave us with whoever we please. The purpose we strive for will differ from single to single. Having a freedom to pursue this divinely given goal is reason enough to fight for being single. It can be lonely and make even the stoutest single doubts, but I am here to encourage you to not allow loneliness to taint the life you live. You should never be with someone just to avoid emotions instead pursue ways to enjoy your hobbies with other people and make some new friends. Invite someone from work to hang out or take that class you’ve been eyeing.
I’ve seen marriages where loneliness wasn’t avoided but amplified. I’ve also seen how marriage has brought out the best in both people. Still I don’t want marry as I know myself and what I want out of life, what God wants out of my life. Being single is a special gift given to strong believers because knowing who you are in Christ and as a person makes a target out the believer from the church and the world. Think salmon swimming upstream.Singles have figured aspects of their lives out because they take the time to minimize distractions. Most people I’ve met looking for a mate are distracted by past relationship let downs, crazy exes, and trying to impress the next guy/girl.
That’s my take. Let me know in the comments what you think!
Blessings and Peace, Randa 🙂