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In Defense of Being Single.

“You’ll change your mind when you meet the One.”, “You don’t want kids? That will change when you get married.”, “You don’t want to be alone do you?”,  and many other varieties of these phrases have been hurled at me since I’ve decided to stay single. And NO, I’m not choosing to stay single until my “prince” comes because God has prepared us both for the great journey of marriage. I choose to stay single because I want to.  If there is anyone out there like me I’m writing this to encourage the single to stay strong when well-meaning people offer their “advice”.

Family, friends, co-workers, etc. can’t help themselves because they don’t understand that singleness  isn’t a curse. They see single as a temporary disease, a defect caused by bad examples and go so far as to suggest you join the singles group at church to meet people. Prayers go up imploring God to guide you since no man is an island. Here’s a newsflash: Being single is a gift (1 cor.7:7)! God’s path for us who are single is to remain this way and for others God wants them to be married: different is good.

Not getting married doesn’t mean missing out nor does it mean we who follow Christ can share our what God gave us with whoever we please. The purpose we strive for will differ from single to single. Having a freedom to pursue this divinely given goal is reason enough to fight for being single.  It can be lonely and make even the stoutest single doubts, but I am here to encourage you to not allow loneliness to taint the life you live. You should never be with someone just to avoid emotions instead pursue ways to enjoy your hobbies with other people and make some new friends. Invite someone from work to hang out or take that class you’ve been eyeing.

I’ve seen marriages where loneliness wasn’t avoided but amplified. I’ve also seen how marriage has brought out the best in both people. Still I don’t want marry as I know myself  and what I want out of life, what God wants out of my life.  Being single  is a special gift given to strong believers because knowing who you are in Christ and as a person makes a target out the believer from the church and the world.  Think salmon swimming upstream.Singles have figured aspects of their lives out because they take the time to minimize distractions. Most people I’ve met looking for a mate are distracted by past relationship let downs, crazy exes, and trying to impress the next guy/girl.

That’s my take. Let me know in the comments what you think!

Blessings and Peace,  Randa 🙂

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Top 4 Yoga Poses for Meditation

Downward Facing Dog

There’s nothing like a full body stretch to start your day or your daily meditation. Engaging your shoulders for support with the legs anchoring down creates balance to center your mind with gentle movement.  With just enough core work downward facing dog expends excess energy that can make us jittery when meditating.

How-to: Come on to all fours with wrist under shoulders and knees under hips. On an exhale raise hips to ceiling, palms firmly planted with no pressure on the wrist. Bend the knees if you need too. Don’t allow shoulders to meet with your ears, instead slide shoulder blades down.

Upward Facing Dog

Loosen and relieve tension in you back while opening your heart to all possibilities and words of wisdom God has for you as you meditate.  We sit hunched over our desks, dinner tables, and steering wheels all day closed off from the world waiting to lock ourselves away. Break out of your shell for just 5 minutes a day with an open heart and, who knows, you may find yourself overwhelmed with joy. 

How-to: Lay flat on your belly with your wrist still under your shoulders, elbows pointing back toward your hips. On an exhale, push up with your hands planted firmly into the ground. Don’t allow shoulders to meet with your ears, instead slide shoulder blades down. Don’t allow your behind to stay clenched as it will put pressure on your lower back and limit the heart opening quality of the pose.

Cat/Cow

You will be working more kinks out of the spine here, but the focus will be on linking your movement to your breath. Losing awareness of our breath in meditation allows our focus to drift from our intention. You can even do a modified version of Cat/Cow in the car and at work when you need a meditation break. 

How-to: Begin as you would for previous poses’.  With each inhale, arch your back. With each exhale, round the spine and pull in your belly for some light core work- if your up for some adventure bring your left knee in to meet your nose. Repeat on the right side to stay balanced.

Wide-Angle Seated Forward Fold

Simply put, this pose is all about surrender. Surrendering our past hurts, betrayals, and whatever else to the will of a loving God. In our time with Him, we come so burdened down by life that we forgot how blessed we are. In Wide-Angle Seated Forward Fold, we put our bodies into action instead of just entertaining the idea of what surrender means. Give all you are to Christ and you won’t be disappointed. Scared, yes, but not disappointed.

How-to: From a seated position, create a wide space by separating your feet in opposite directions.  With a deep inhale bring your arms above your head and lean forward leading with your heart. You can stay here or reach out to grasp your feet for a deeper hip opener.

Happy meditating!

Blessings and Peace-Randa:)

Photo is from UnSplash.com and taken by Tim Marshall